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~ Tales of a vagrant ant ~
Follow the journey of a vagrant ant through the story of his life. | |||||||||
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Current Desktop 
Frequented
Other
I believe
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7.03.2004
weaving emptinessly
I don't know what it is, but I have just suddenly been filled with a feeling of emptiness. Work is fine and dandy... My parents are back, and have filled the house with their presence. But just tonight, I suddenly felt alone... I dunno, in vancouver, I have many good friends whose company I greatly enjoy, but we don't see each other all too often, with our busy schedules and such. It's like I have a circle of friends that i am occasionally with, and each of those friends have their own circle of friends(or just boyfriends, or girlfriends) that they spend the majority of time with, or just working. So I sometimes feel like I'm stuck in the middle of nowwhere, amidst a pseudo-circle of friends, and then I almost begin to wonder what I'm doing here... because although I really enjoy this place, and the people in it, I don't feel like i have a network of friends here... simply separate buddings of friends here and there, and whom I don't see entirely very frequently. I think I just need to get out more often or something... My parents got back yesterday, and I am quickly being reminded of why it was oddly peaceful while my mother was not here. Like right now, she's hounding me to get to bed... augh. now she has gone back upstairs, after telling me that I keep making her mad... and it makes me feel like such a disappointment, just because I want to finish this blog before my thoughts flee my mind. Just no pleasing this woman, I guess... I have been increasingly had feelings of missing guelph. I miss the familiarity, the constancy, the freedom, social network that seems to have more fabric than here. I really do enjoy my friends here, but it's just like there's no cohesion... and really, I would love to sit back with 5 or 6 people and hang out, but it's like my friends aren't friends with each other, and while I would enjoy the company of all of these people, they would just look at each other and be confused and awkward. And attempts have been to sort of fill the void, but it's only now (like right now) that I've really realized it's not actually a void that need to fill, but the fact that I've been weaving with emptiness. | feeling: empty | Today's Fotolog: Careening
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