What I want... (rantrantrant)

Hmmm.... this loud stomping in the apartment is apparently getting really old for me. I never noticed the first week or two, but it appears that this situation is getting out of hand. You would think that at 3 in the morning, people would have the sense not to grind their heels into the ground with each step they take. Then again, they're probably drunk, so maybe not. *sigh* Yeah, it's strange, but in some ways, I'm quickly learning what it is I'm needing in life these days...

I met some new people at the farmer's market today. Well one girl Jen is from enviro sci, and I've never really known her well, but today she just bought me this yummy pastry thing from the crazy Greek "cinnamon bun guy". And I met her roommate Graham, who I've seen on campus a lot, but never had any reason to talk to, and lastly the roommate's friend Karen. So yeah, Jen bought all of us yummy pastry things, and we just started talking, and it just felt comfortable and nice, walking and chatting amidst the produce, and the crafty things, and the gourds that are coming into season. The apples are apparently just about perfect, and I tried a honey crisp, which was described as "very apply, sweet, yet tangy, and very crisp". I was most pleased.
Unfortunately, Isabel the amazing pie lady wasn't at her usual stall again (for the 2nd time in 2 weeks), and it kind of concerns me... She's the cutest old lady always with the biggest smile on her face, the kind that wrinkles around her eyes, and she bakes just delicious pie. Me and Katie took the reccommendation of a classmate, and damn... it's just plain good pie. And the pie is ridiculously cheap as well.... It's $2 for a 6 inch pie, and you almost feel guilty for practically taking pie from her for free, because you KNOW that she could have charged 3-4 times more for the pie, and still made a killing. But yeah, the pie lady was not there, and I was quite disheartened to not see any pie.
Anyways, back to my point (which does not concern pie)... It's about where one lives... I'm realziing that I'm beginning to loathe this building I'm living in for the next 7 months or so... I used to think I wasn't very picky at all about where I lived, and could deal with anything... but one thing I apparently can't stand is the stomping heels of someone walking and just loud thumping noises in general. This building is just paper thin, in terms of sound carryage, and I can hear stomping, drunking singing, things being dropped, door slamming, the list goes on... and I suppose it's the vague nature of the vibrating noises that drives me just up the wall.... *sigh* It sounds like people are fucking wrestling upstairs... wassup with dat? And this place is a bit like living in Residence, except without the RAs to bust yo ass if you're loud. And there's this fucking flood light that lights up the path outside my room, but it also just happens to shine right in my window, right through my flimsy curtain, and bathing my light in a diffuse fluorescent glow.
And stupid company that developed these apartments... their workmanship is pathetic... It's like every door is creaky, the carpet the kind that sucks the moisture out of your feet, and the windows are fucked up. And for some reason, my whole room has this faint vibration that starts up randomly... my desklamp or the cover to my room light will randomly start to vibrate. I have no idea what it is... I'm either living on a fault line, living near someone with an uber vibrator, or there's construction machinery going at it at all times of the day. it's so bizarre

I dunno, man... Maybe I'm just really getting old or something. I'm getting sick of these white walls... I've never had coloured walls before, but there's something that is quite soothing about it... and I can't paint the walls... grrr...
I'm just beginning not being able to take this bland crap anymore. I want a home with character... Let it be old and rickety.. let it have funky coloured walls...
Just this past little bit, I've been sort of craving having a place to truly call my own. It definitely feels like I'm living in a rented place, not so much a home.
This place is definitely spacious, but it's almost so much so that it's not quite homey... There's lawn mowing and watering around my apartment, but it's all so industrial, with it's john deere tractor mower and sprinkler that goes all the fuck everywhere including the sidewalk.

There's also just a very overwhelming sense of apathy that I seem to be getting no matter where I go... The other day I was walking home, and across the street was a girl and two guys walking the same way, and this girl did just about the most unattractive thing I think that one could do. Just nonchalantly kick a beer bottle across the parking lot, and smash it into shards of glass, and be so apathetic as to not even look at it. I think I visibly winced when she did that.

I know I'm just bitching and whining, like the spoiled over-privileged middle-class brat, but I'm just wishing someone would care... is that a lot to ask for?

This past week has been slightly intense... not really a whole lot, but just starting to settle into medium-high gear, with a biology of polluted waters lab, and a first year spanish test (which was ridiculously easy), so all in all, things have been alright, schoolwise

Today, I went with Livia, Paul and livia's housie Hannan (like a roomie, but a housie) to toronto to attend the Banana Boys screenplay, which I know me and Livia were quite looking foward to seeing. Seeing as it was us, who else would be S.O.L. when it came to getting tickets. Apparently it was entirely sold out, and so we stood around outside the Factory like fools for a while, watching a chinese girl walk through the doors with her very white boyfriend in tow. Then we watched the small stream of Asians pass us by, while we silently cursed those who had reserved tickets. *le sigh* So defeated, we went to the Friendly Thai, a quaint little thai restaurant on Queen St, where we drowned our sorrow in rice and noodles, before going to another part of Queen st, with an assortment of hippish stores... The Condom Shack, the cannibis store, overpriced clothing retail, et cetera. I dunno... it was kind of fun just looking at stuff, but I think i've become a jaded consumer of sorts.. That place just seemed to bleat "Buy things Buy things Buy things", and it made me want to break stuff. I'm not really sure why, but it just made me kinda irrationally irritated watching all the people blindly go live out the consumeristic mantra. I guess that in all fairness, it's simply the way of life that they know, and it's simply not how I could live my life, I guess.

Then after returning to guelph, I stopped at Megan and Henry's dinner party at their house, and caught the tailend of their dinner, a huge smorgasbord of food, which I got a big plate of... Dessert came next, as did an evening of mirth and merriment, just loud laughter ringing through the house, and the excited chatter of friends.

So there are things to look forward to, or that I'm very happy for. The people in enviro sci with me are all just such superb individuals, and they're all so inspiring in their own ways... Each time I talk to one of them, they'll be telling me how they made their own jam, wine, or chili sauce, and it's just refreshing to see that sometimes, and in a way, it just reminds me that in the end, everyone just wants to be happy, in whatever way befits them.. whether through buying stuff, making stuff, doing stuff and caring for stuff.
Especially the last one. :)

Excellent, the stomping has stopped. Goodnight.

| feeling: sated |
| listening: Gaelic Storm - Bonnie Ship The Diamond Tamlinn |
Today's Fotolog: Standing with my 'rents at my place sept/04

p.s. tommoorow... wow, potentially a busy day... underwater hockey at 1-3, floor hockey from 6-7, visiting katie's pet while she's gone home for the week (take care of yourself, love), and I'm pondering a concert (if it's not already sold out): The weakerthans, constatines, and the fembots... I've heard good things about the first two bands... Ahhh.. to go or not to go, that is the question!